I’ve got blah-blah insurance…

Now that we’re married there are lots of things to get accomplished besides all that lovey-dovey canoodling and that fat stack of thank-you notes. One of those is combining our auto insurance. Sounds pretty boring, right? It is. Don’t kid yourself. This is boring, adult-level torturous shit. At any rate, what’s not boring is that we have been […]

Politics…too painful for words

I hate election time. It’s about as pleasant as a six month menstrual period. Not only do I have to make difficult choices of my own after poring over websites, news articles, debates, and the like…but I also have to listen to other people talk about the candidates. You know, those two doofuses with a jillion bucks […]

Simple Pleasures…The Mom’s Edition

I remember being a single, 20-something working a full-time job and having more money than I needed and time to spare. Then I became a mom and all that changed. I used to enjoy weekly mani-pedis, new clothes every week, and expensive makeup and hair care products. I was spoiled. I did whatever I wanted, […]

Everybody’s Zooin’ It!

I remember life before I was a mom. It’s a little shadow of a memory, but it’s there. Just lurking in a tiny space in my mind, nearly overrun with thoughts of diapers, wipes, runny noses, fevers, coughs, giggles, coos, tantrums, and the like. At any rate, I have this memory that is BURNED into […]

Man Caves…really?

I like to watch HGTV and DIY network television. I know, I know. Why? Apparently I’m destined to find myself perplexed every day that I turn on such shows as “My First Place” and “House Hunters.” How can I become one of those single-income, work-at-home families who is financing $550,000 for a home in Someplace […]

Personal Space- Back the eff up!

I like my personal space. I like to think that I have a floating pink bubble around me. You know, the imaginary, impenetrable force-field that is supposed to ward off freaks and weirdos. This force-field might also be called COMMON DECENCY. Personal space, much like common sense and decency, is clearly not as “common” as […]

How to embarrass yourself (effectively) before a date

It was a big day. I had a, wait for it, a date! Actually, it was a second date, but who’s counting? Anyways, I did the whole pre-date routine: shower, hair, nails, makeup, outfit(s). I finally felt ready to go. I slinked into a pair of brand new jeans. Yeah, I bought new jeans for […]

Wal-Mart: Three strikes? Make that four strikes.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I hate going to Wal-Mart. I feel like some sort of snobby spoiled brat saying it out loud, but I truly have contempt for that place. Have you ever visited the site, peopleofwalmart.com? If you haven’t, you should hop on over there and check it out. […]

Reality Television-Depravity at its Finest

It’s out there. It’s everywhere. It’s a cultural phenomenon. What is it, you wonder? I’m talking about reality television. Reality television has done to television what porn has done to people’s sex lives. It has awakened our culture to things we never experienced or even dreamed. People who would have otherwise remained blissfully ignorant to […]

January in Ohio-Lose the Will to Live

It happens every year, and every year I act as if it’s happening for the first time. To what do I refer? Oh, I’m referring to the misery that is winter in Ohio. It sneaks up on me each and every year as if I’m not going to notice, but right around January 1st it […]

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