Today I spent about three hours watching a Millionaire Matchmaker marathon on Bravo. For those unfamiliar with the show, you can check it out at www.bravo.com. Let me just say, I found something Patti said very troubling. She had a millionairess who was smart, assertive, independent, and aggressive. I thought she was awesome, but Patti said she gave off a very “masculine energy” and that was going to be a problem. I began thinking…what exactly about being a kick-ass lady makes her masculine? Why are women with these traits seen as having a masculine energy?Does that mean these women will attract feminine men?
I started pondering the notion more and more as I sat in wide-eyed wonderment. How can this woman give off a less masculine vibe was the question at hand? Well, I immediately thought she could do all the classic “feminine” behaviors: act dumb, timid, and submissive. After all, Patti, the professional matchmaker, told the client that men find her intimidating and challenging therefore undateable.
I came to several conclusions after I thought about this episode for a while.
First, if women are expected to work outside the home and be capable of taking care of themselves, they need these traits that are seen as “masculine.” People aren’t nice out there in the world, and a timid, silly sally will get eaten up by the big chompers of society.
Second, why are men intimidated by women who have these traits? Is dumb, timid, and submissive attractive?
Finally, what the hell did my mother do to me to make me undateable…oh yeah, she raised me to be able to take care of myself. Damn her.
- Judith Regan to ‘Millionaire Matchmaker’ (observer.com)